Laugh Dammit!

LMAO!

YIALMAO2

A man walks into a bar with a paper bag. He sits down and places the bag on the counter.
The bartender walks up and asks what's in the bag. The man reaches into the bag and pulls out
a little man, about 9" high and sets him on the counter.
He reaches back into the bag and pulls out a small piano, setting it on the counter as well.
He reaches into the bag once again and pulls out a tiny piano bench, which he places in front of the piano.
The little man sits down at the piano, and starts playing a beautiful piece by Mozart! 'Where on earth did you get that?' says the bartender.
The man responds by reaching into the paper bag.
This time he pulls out a magic lamp. He hands it to the bartender and says: 'Here. Rub it.' So the bartender rubs the lamp, and suddenly there's a gust of smoke and a beautiful genie is standing before him. 'I will grant you one Wish... Just one wish...each person is only allowed one!'

The bartender gets real excited. Without hesitating he says, 'I want a million bucks!'
A few moments later, a duck walks into the bar.
It is soon followed by another duck, then another. Pretty soon, the entire bar is filled with ducks
and they keep coming!

The bartender turns to the man and says, 'Y'know,
I think your Genie's a little deaf. I asked for a million bucks, not a million Ducks.'

'No kidding!!' says the man, 'Do you really think I asked for a 9 inch pianist?'

This is creepy! and it really works..


Think of a letter between
A and W.

Repeat it
Out loud as
You scroll down.


Keep going . .
Don't stop .. ..




Think of an
Animal
That begins
With that letter.


Repeat it
Out loud
As you
Scroll down.

Think of

Either a man's/woman' s
Name
That
Begins
With the
Last letter
In the
Animals name


Almost
There....... .


Now
Count out
T he letters
In that name
On the fingers
Of the hand
You are not
Using to
Scroll down.


Take the
Hand you
FIRST counted with
And hold it out
In front of you
At face level
..


Look at your
Palm
Very closely
And
Notice
The
Lines
In
Your
Hand
..

Do the lines
Take the
Form of the
First letter
In the
Persons name?!
..

Of course not.......

Now TAKE THAT HAND AND smack
Yourself in the head, get a life,
And
Quit playing
Stupid
e-mail games!

The testicles of a Texas midget hurt and ached almost all the time. The midget went to the doctor and told him about his problem.
The doctor told him to drop his pants and he would have a look. The midget dropped his pants. The doctor stood him up onto the examining table, and started to examine him. The doctor put one finger under his left testicle and told the midget to turn his head and cough, the usual method to check for a hernia
'Aha!' mumbled the doctor, and as he put his finger under the right testicle, he asked the midget to cough again. 'Aha!' said the doctor once more, and reached for his surgical scissors. Snip-snip-snip-snip on the right side... then snip-snip-snip-snip on the left side.
The midget was so scared he was afraid to look, but noted with amazement that the snipping did not hurt. The doctor then told the midget to walk around the examining room to see if his testicles still hurt. The midget was absolutely delighted as he walked around and discovered his boys were no longer aching.
The doctor said, 'How does that feel now?'
The midget replied, 'Perfect Doc, and I didn't even feel it. What did you do?'
The doctor replied 'I cut two inches off the top of your cowboy boots.'

That joke has to be offensive to at least three different groups. [img]biggrin.gif[/img]

A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, "Please, may I hide under your skirt. I'll explain later."

The nun agreed. A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, "Sister, have you seen a soldier?"

The nun replied, "He went that way."

After the MP's ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, "I can't thank you enough Sister. You see, I don't want to go to Iraq."

The nun said, "I understand completely."

The soldier added, "I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!"

The nun replied, "If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls....I don't want to go to Iraq either."

LOL, that's a classic! I think I used to hear them about WWII. [img]biggrin.gif[/img]

hahahah I don't know which one is funnier...LOL

Who can blame them. That was funny